July 12, 2014

AM kiss and PM thank you

Begin your day with a morning kiss to God telling him you love him and adore him. End your day with a simple message, “Thank you for loving and providing for me.” Every successful relationship must be cultivated, nurtured and proclaimed. Psalm 92:2 NIV

July 10, 2014

TSAMA NAFSHI / My Soul Thirsts

Just as a deer longs for running streams, God, I long for you. I am thirsty for the living God ... people ask me, “Where is your God?” My soul ...why are you groaning inside me? Hope in God, since I will praise him again for the salvation that comes from His presence.

July 9, 2014

Pass or Fail an Open Book Test

James 1:22 “Do not merely listen to The Word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” Are you relying on instinct or using the Bible as a source during a test? Life as a Christian is an open book test. The answers are there in the Bible.

July 3, 2014

“Born of God”


“Whosoever is born of God doth NOT commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and HE CANNOT SIN, because he is born of God…We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not. And we know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in wickedness.” (1 John 3:9, 1 John 5:18-19, KJV)

June 30, 2014

Matthew 6:31-32

Matthew 6:31 Therefore take no thought saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? Or wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

June 29, 2014

Proverbs 9:9-10

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning. The fear of The Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. (Our ways and thoughts are not like God’s…)

June 28, 2014

No Co-signers needed

When you have been healed, delivered and completed by Jesus, you do not need co-signers to approve of you or the work you are called to do. A co-signer says I can vouch for your credibility. Not needed! Jesus signed your papers in his blood no co-signer needed!

June 27, 2014

Romans 12:2


June 26, 2014

Isaiah 40:31


June 25, 2014

Luke 21:36


June 23, 2014

Romans 6:11

“Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (KJV)

June 19, 2014

Psalms 34:1

I will bless The Lord at all times; and his praise shall continually be in my mouth. (KJV) THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

June 17, 2014

2 Chronicles 16:9

“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him…” (KJV)

June 14, 2014

Glory to Glory!!!

Every level of elevation through our Lord and Savior JESUS CHRIST is a birthing process…..so rebirthing through each phase of growth is essential….it’s a continuous rebirthing, refreshing, and renewing of our spirits in CHRIST JESUS. For we die daily!!!!

June 13, 2014

John 17:3

“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.” (KJV)

June 13, 2014



June 11, 2014

Ephesians 5:15-16

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” (NIV)

June 10, 2014

Luke 21:34-36

“And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting, and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares…Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy…to stand before the Son of man.” (KJV)

October 10, 2013


Hear (obey), O Israel! Adonai is our God! Adonai is One! -or Hear (obey), O Israel! Adonai is our God – Adonai alone - or Sh'ma Yisrael Shema Eloheinu Shema Eḥad. Hear (obey), O Israel, the Name is our God, the Name is One.

September 28, 2013


I am blessed, grateful and in awe of the love of God shown through my sons! I turned 55 two days ago. I have grown immensely from the love shown to me by my sons, friends and family I can say, God is always there when I need HIM most. Challenges come! Continue reading

September 18, 2013



A domesticated ruminant mammal with a thick woolly beard -oops – coat. Kept in flocks for its wool or meat, and is proverbial for its tendency to follow others in the flock.

Called to ‘Walk on the water of the Word’ [Ephesians 5:26]

September 9, 2013



Joel 2 Blow the ram’s horn in Zion … for the day of the Lord is coming, for it is at hand … 2Co 4 Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God.  Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful. Continue reading

July 29, 2013



HEAVEN – shamayim – means ‘fire and water’. Our God is a ‘consuming FIRE’. Jesus Christ is LIVING WATER. CELIA means HEAVEN. Psalm 119:89 LAMED. For ever, O LORD, THY WORD IS SETTLED in HEAVEN – in CELIA. Continue reading

July 25, 2013



The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than GOLD, than much FINE GOLD. Continue reading

July 11, 2013

Bhangra praise!

“And David danced before the Lord with all his might, wearing a priestly garment. So David and all the people of Israel brought up the Ark of the Lord with shouts of joy and the blowing of rams’ horns.” 2 Samuel 6:14-15. I wonder if King David danced to this?! Go ahead and dance, nobody is watching!

July 11, 2013



Isaiah 61: 3 Trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. Ecclesiastes 2:6 I made myself water pools from which to water the growing trees of the grove. Continue reading

July 2, 2013

laughter is good medicine

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven—a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4

June 28, 2013



While listening to a friend share plans to follow through with her pending divorce, being reminded of what Jesus said in the book of Matthew, I gently responded, “Well, if you do decide to follow through with the divorce, my prayer for you will be that the Lord will soften your heart.” Continue reading

June 28, 2013

Thunder in the Distance

Lightning flashing – Thunder cracking – Fires close. Can you hear it thunder in the distance? when we worship the Lion of Judah roars, strongholds crumble all around us in the presence of our Lord, at the shout of El Shaddai.

April 27, 2013

opening eyes…

During a visit to Flint, Michigan, while listening to my Great Uncle Fred Lewis—affectionately known as Uncle Bob—share memories of his childhood, my Grandmother’s older brother shared a story that I hope to relay to my children, and grandchildren. As he sat in his arm chair, which I personally think is to firm and stiff for his elderly frame, he shared how his father, after realizing that his family would never be able to “get ahead” as share croppers in Mississippi, broke the news to “the man”—the white man that owned the farm that he and his family had helped to maintain for years—that he would be leaving the farm:

“He went to the man and said, ‘It take a puppy dog nine days to open his eyes,’”—and with that, my Great Grandfather packed up his large family and traveled north to Michigan to start a new life.

Like my Great Grandfather, as God continues to make me grow, He is opening my eyes…

Continue reading

March 26, 2013

Bible exchange

Today marks the beginning of Passover—and as my journey in Israel nears it’s end, another young man’s journey begins…

Shortly after arriving at Ben Gurion International Airport, I settled in at a small table with my backpack, guitar, and the two animals pictured below that I picked up during my travels :-)

Continue reading

February 26, 2013

i am safe

Nothing made me feel safer as a child than my mother’s presence. Much like a young lion cub, fearlessly, playing and pouncing in the plains of South Africa, I, too, played and danced, having no fear as I often sensed my mother standing off in the distance, combing the tall grass with watchful eyes, in search of predators. Still, however, certain fears took me years to overcome: the fear of darkness and the sound of thunder… Continue reading

February 24, 2013

tell them…

A few weeks ago, while on my way back to my apartment from, okay I can’t exactly remember where, I hopped into a cab.

“Ah…you religious?” the elderly Jewish cabby asked in a thick Israeli accent, after hearing my reason for being in Israel.

“Yes. Christian…Yeshua,” I answered.

“Are you?” I asked, as our brief dialogue began to take form.

“No,” he answered.

Even though this taxi ride only lasted six or seven minutes in length, the affect that our brief conversation had on me will last a lifetime… Continue reading

February 23, 2013

Light of the world

Tel Aviv, January 2013

Anytime I spotted a shiny object on the ground when I was a little boy, excitement would bolt through my entire body like electricity, as I wondered, “Maybe it’s a quarter…or something worth a lot of money?!” Much to my disappointment, often times it turned out to be nothing more than light reflecting off of a worthless object… Continue reading

January 21, 2013


My time in Tiberias was full of pleasant surprises: I attended my first marathon, and spent an evening fellowshipping with a wonderful group of people…

The photo is of me and the diverse group that I fellowshipped with, which included two South Africans, two Americans, and one Israeli. The eleven year old boy pictured, having heard about a man named Jesus Christ during a tour in the city of Bethlehem, at one point asked me, “So who is Jesus?” Filled with excitement, as his mother listened inquisitively, I shared the gospel of Christ with him—seeds were planted. Continue reading

January 4, 2013

i cracked a smile…

Just before coming to Eilat, while searching the map of Israel, I took a mental note that the ancient city of Petra was just a few hours away in Jordan. So when I arrived and walked by an advertisement for tours to Petra in the hotel lobby, I thought, Why not!

Having very little prior knowledge of Petra, I boarded a bus and arrived at the Jordan border crossing. Needless to say, as soon as I got in with the other tourist, an Israeli soldier walked over to me with his machine gun and asked, “Good morning, can I please see your passport?”

“Yes,” I responded.

Never knew a person could be so polite while holding a machine gun…

After waiting in line, and making my way through security, I walked two hundred meters and entered the country of Jordan, a muslim nation.

Continue reading

January 3, 2013


As quickly as New Year’s Day came and went, so did my time in Jerusalem. On New Year’s Day I checked out of my hotel, and started down the highway. Lord, should I head north, or south? After feeling a peace about heading south, I headed toward the Dead Sea, Earth’s lowest elevation on land

During my time at the Dead Sea I “soaked” my body in the natural sea salts and minerals which line the sea floor. Now I must admit that I didn’t walk boldly into the sea and soak—I lack courage when it comes to large bodies of water. Especially after reading this warning sign below (Click photo to enhance / zoom in):

Continue reading

January 1, 2013

a new year’s eve to remember…

While sitting in the hotel lobby finishing up my journal entry earlier this morning, a soft spoken Nigerian man named Dennis took a seat across from me.

“I have to take my insulin, but I must wait for someone to open the kitchen because it is in the refrigerator,” he remarked, as if I had inquired.

Following our brief conversation, a man emerged from the hotel restaurant with a red bag, and Dennis politely departed… Continue reading

December 29, 2012

i’m not in Kansas anymore…

As I stood in the security line, a gentlemen turned and inquired about my guitar, “Do you play?”

“Yes,” I responded. “Do you?”

He nodded yes.

After a short pause, he commented, “I like to play the gospels. And I also believe in Jeshua like you.”

Caught off guard by his comment, I asked, “You are Messianic?”

“Yes.” He answered…

Pardon me, but my thoughts just changed course… Continue reading

October 11, 2012

a mother’s heart…

After a man named Joseph drove two days from California to Kansas to purchase my trailer for he and his family, today (10/11/12) I officially became homeless…

I’m not homeless, however, according to my mother, who, after learning of the sale of my trailer, lovingly responded, “Well, you always have a home here.” Bless her heart. My journey continues…

Lord, thank you for my mother’s heart…


September 28, 2012

my Lord

There have been a number of life changing moments / events that I have experienced since the day I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ back in 2008. A few nights ago, I experienced another one of these defining moments—a moment that enlightened me, and challenged me at the same time… Continue reading

September 25, 2012


One year ago today, I began a journey to plant and water seeds of the gospel of Christ, so that God could make them grow, not having any idea that my journey would produce a year long record of my pursuit of holiness and righteousness, and how He has been making me grow. Continue reading

September 15, 2012

determined to work

In the last month, I have taken advantages of spending time with my family. Beginning with a flight to Michigan where I spent time with my mother, brothers, as well as niece and nephews, and ending with a lengthy drive from British Columbia to Colorado, to Green Bay, and then to Chicago, in which I spent time with my daughter, close friends, my cousin and his family, my aunt and uncle, as well as my sister and her husband. My time with my loved ones and friends was a blessing—as distance began to make me feel detached from any and everyone close to me—the greatest blessing, however, is that God continues to make me grow… Continue reading

September 5, 2012

waiting on God…

While seated in the parking lot of a local shopping center today, a woman approached me and asked, “Hi, my husband and I ran out of gas and we don’t have any money, and I wanted to know if you have a few dollars that you can give us to help us make it home?”

While looking off into the distance, and observing a white-haired man standing next to a blue pick-up truck, I answered, “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any cash…but I’ll say a prayer and ask God to provide. Continue reading

August 31, 2012

break your silence…

Finally breaking my silence. It has been well over a month since my last journal entry and, needless to say, God has had me on the go! In fact, God has done so much, so quickly, since writing my last journal entry that if I would have paused for even a moment to journal, I would have more than likely missed one of the many lessons God has been teaching me. So instead of typing, I’ve been taking mental notes… Continue reading

July 17, 2012


A week ago today, while playing my guitar and singing praises to Jesus Christ on the corner of 6th and H St. in the heart of downtown Anchorage, I encountered an eighteen year old named Trevon. Amazingly enough, on the very first day of our encounter, God gave him a nickname and a purpose all in one, “GPS”. Since then, however, God has given him so much more… Continue reading

July 10, 2012


Today I witnessed and experienced God’s love manifest in ways that completely amazed me…and it all began at about one o’clock in the morning when God gave me a powerful revelation of His love—which compelled me to repent.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son…” Continue reading

July 9, 2012

trust and believe

Following service yesterday, I joined Jeremy—a brother in Christ who I met a few nights ago at a local restaurant in Glenallen, Alaska—and the family he is staying with for the summer, for a BBQ at their home. From the moment I hit the door Aden (12), Jameson (10) and their older sister Ariana (15) provided enough humor to keep me laughing and smiling for the rest of the day… Continue reading

July 1, 2012

the first Miracle of my journey

Prior to today—the third Sunday in a row that God has allowed me to preach to the faithful saints at Tok Assembly of God (May the Lord bless Pastor Jack for His willingness and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit)—I made the following statement at one point last week, Three weeks in a row Lord…maybe your trying to send me a message? Well, if you’re calling me to preach, I accept and embrace you’re call.

Ha! What’s so funny is that the last thing I came to Alaska to do is deliver sermons on Sunday mornings—shows just how much of God’s plan for my life I have figured out… Continue reading

June 18, 2012

the Father’s love

Upon arriving at Tok Assembly of God yesterday, where Pastor Jack allowed me to minister to the saints—May God reward Pastor Jack’s willingness—I was surprised to see a group of high school students loading their luggage into their vehicles. Uncertain as to what was going on, I made my way into the dark sanctuary. After familiarizing myself with the piano, I began to sing and worship.

“We want to listen,” one of the adult chaperones said as she propped one of the doors leading to the sanctuary open.

“Okay,” I said with a smile…

Continue reading

May 23, 2012

giving up hope

Over the years, unfortunately, I have been quick to give up hope for people due to my lack of patience, compassion, and most of all forgiveness. In fact, based on the way I have given up on others so easily, one would have thought that God would’ve surely given up hope for me by now. After all, I’ve given him plenty of reason to… Continue reading

May 16, 2012


Having traveled to Illinois, Florida and Mississippi over the course of last couple of months, needless to say, I’ve been on the go. I guess you could say it comes with my job :-)  Though I love to travel, there are times when I feel isolated and disconnected from family and loved ones—and I begin longing for home. But, just as I begin to feel that way, God has a way of making me feel right at homeContinue reading

May 11, 2012

right standing with God

To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of it,’ Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” (Genesis 3:16-19)

Up until a few weeks ago, when I came across this passage of scripture it appeared to me that God was condemning and judging Adam and Eve for disobeying Him. The truth is, God was not judging or condemning Man… Continue reading

May 8, 2012

its not about me

Jesus said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

So then, when exactly did it become all about me? Continue reading

April 30, 2012

something to offer

After spending last weekend in the Chicago metro area, although I returned to LA yesterday with a lighter backpack, my spirit was full. The primary purpose for my trip was to share my testimony with a group of young people that attend the Jessie Lu Caples Stamps Development Art Center. At the last minute, however, God planned for me to attend a men’s retreat hosted by Wheaton Christian Center… Continue reading

April 20, 2012

invite Jesus

Shortly after taking my seat in the airport today, a man named Josh—a thirty-eight year old white man, who works in the oil industry—took a seat in the chair next to me and commented, “I can’t believe I missed my flight.”

“How’d you do that?” I questioned.

“I was sitting in the bar, talking with a Guatemalan man…and after we had a few [beers] I looked at my watched and realized that it was four minutes past my departure time…what’s funny is that I had just laughed about a guy running through the airport to catch his flight,” he said, while shaking his head.

“Hmmm…must be a pretty good reason that God allowed you to miss your flight,” I remarked, while thinking, Maybe you were suppose to miss your flight so that I could share Christ with you? After the thought, anyone who knows me well enough knows that I wasted no time at all inviting Jesus into the conversation… Continue reading

March 22, 2012

i heart night

Last night, God gave me the opportunity to share my testimony with the group of young people I have been fellowshipping with every Wednesday night, for the past few weeks. But interesting enough, the highlight of the night was not me sharing my testimony—instead, it was witnessing a number of them surrender their young lives to Christ… Continue reading

March 14, 2012

now that I know…

I received such a powerful and revelatory word from God through Pastor Jeff Vines Sunday, that I have to tell you about it! Now in order to understand the complete revelation, we have to go all the way back to December 31, 2009.

Coming into 2010 I was frustrated with God. In fact, I was so frustrated that following service on New Years Eve, at around 12:30 am in the morning I said, “I’m tired of being here. You say in your word to seek ‘first’ your kingdom and all of your righteousness…so what’s next?! I mean, if I have to spend the rest of my life doing that, then I’d rather be with you!” Continue reading

March 12, 2012

one life

Since beginning this journey last year, I have had the amazing opportunity to fellowship with a wide variety of people. From street corners, to buses, trains and in parks—to churches like Glory Bound, Calvary Chapel, and most recently Christ Church of the Valley, God has not only allowed me to fellowship with people from all walks of life—but more importantly, He has revealed that we are each His “one life”… Continue reading

March 8, 2012

even in storms we can grow

Today, God freed me from chains that have bound me for the past year… You see, for the last twelve months, up until today, I had to report to a probation officer in Colorado, resulting from an incident that occurred back in 2010. “Why was I on probation?” you ask. All the details will be in my up and coming book. Surprising as it seems, on so many levels I am grateful for the year that I served on probation because through my transparency, God has, and continues to use me to empower and encourage others… Continue reading

March 1, 2012

good seed, into good ground

A few weeks ago, I got an email from one of my former teammates, Shawn, who I played ball with at the University of Michigan. After reconnecting with Shawn—and each of us sharing all that God has been doing in, and through our lives—out of his excitement, he connected me with another one of my former teammates last week, Colby. I don’t know why you’re connecting me with my former teammates, but I’m sure there’s a good reason, I thought. Continue reading

February 29, 2012

amazing God

One of the last things I said to a group of high school boys that I spoke to last Wednesday night was, “All of these young kids are looking up to you guys. Therefore, you guys should be sitting in the front row not hiding out in the back!”

Tonight two of them were front and center—being unashamed, they looked over at me and smiled as they listened to the sermon.

Continue reading

February 25, 2012

the inexplicable beauty of holiness

Despite the amount of purity and innocence that I have stolen from, as well as given away to women throughout the course of my lifetime, today I was blessed with the amazing opportunity to witness the “holy” union of a man and a woman who—with the help of the Lord—resisted the very temptations, to which I fell, and remained pure and faithful until marriage…

Continue reading

February 22, 2012

i love my job!

So yesterday, while eating breakfast at a local restaurant I over heard two gentlemen talking about my Lord and Savior, yep, the one and only Jesus Christ. The more they said “Jesus” the more I got excited! So after finishing my meal, I walked up to their table and commented, “Excuse me guys, but I heard you talking about my Lord and Savior and ya’ll got me all excited! So I had to come over and speak.” Continue reading

February 19, 2012


After receiving an invitation from Mr. and Mrs. K, a couple God allowed me to befriend a few years ago, earlier today God gave me an amazing opportunity to share my testimony with a group of saints at the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, CO. Little did I know, sharing my testimony would turn out to be only a small part of God’s purpose for me being there…

Continue reading

February 16, 2012

we are all one

After walking up what felt like the first flight of the stairway to heaven, I arrived at a lighthouse at Cape Point located in South Africa—the southern most point of the Cape Peninsula, which is said to be the point at which the Indian Ocean meets the Atlantic Ocean—and I stood in awe of the vast sea. Then suddenly, a question came to mind, So where do the two oceans meet? I mean its not like I can see a line drawn in the ocean. Continue reading

February 13, 2012

loving others

Tonight, while seated in a small Italian restaurant, as I listened to small tidbits of a number of conversations, a thought came to mind, I should pay for everyone’s dinner. So after eating my meal, I walked up to the counter and asked a woman that seemed to wear every hat—manager, waitress and cook.

“Do you know them?” she asked. Continue reading

February 8, 2012


While listening to God’s word this morning, I was given understanding of an important truth…

Over the years I have never fully understood “justification”—being made right, or deemed righteous by God—as I have always thought that my being justified was in some way dependent on my “works”—my obedience, or lack thereof, to God’s law and His commandments.

I was gravely mistaken. Continue reading

February 1, 2012

Coach Lapointe

Earlier today my oldest brother, Jason, notified me of the passing of our high school football coach—Bob Lapointe. With this journal entry I give honor to him, and thank God for using him to teach me two valuable life lessons…

The first touchdown I ever scored at Belleville High, came with a pretty high price because of me drawing attention to myself by show-boating.

“I’ll see you after the next team meeting on the field,” Coach Lapointe said. Continue reading

January 28, 2012

the right question

“Lord what do you want me to do?” I asked, shortly after surrendering my life to Christ.

God proceeded to give me my first assignment, which was to create a website, www.whatarekidssaying.com. A website that offers kids and teens the opportunity to share their hearts and minds with the world through creative writing. After successfully launching the site, I immediately asked, “Okay God, I created the website. Now what do you want me to do?” Continue reading

January 26, 2012

if we are willing…

Since my arrival to California I have planted and watered seeds of the gospel of Christ everywhere—well, almost everywhere. Yesterday served as the first time I took my bag of seeds on a golf course…

A few Sundays ago, while driving out of the RV park to grab a bite to eat, after noticing a group of big country-fed white men sitting outside of a trailer eating and watching a football game I thought, I wonder if they’ll mind if I join them? After making a u-turn and pulling up to the trailer, I rolled my window down and asked, “You guys have room for one more?” Continue reading

January 25, 2012

the greatest among us

After being told that my truck would take one hour to be serviced last Saturday, three hours later…I drove away with: rotated tires, an oil change, a software update…and a lighter bag of seeds.

“So do you go to church?” I eventually asked a man that I engaged in a conversation.

“Man, I haven’t been to church in like ten years,” he replied.

“Hey that’s okay…I took a ten year hiatus too,” I immediately responded, in an effort to let him know that he was not alone. Continue reading

January 19, 2012

faults and imperfections

During my first stint with the Broncos, I remember observing my former head coach, Mike Shanahan, stop and pick up a piece of trash on his way through a hallway in the practice facility. Now that’s something you don’t see everyday, I thought. Then after making a remark about his action, he lightheartedly replied, “The more you can do, the longer you’ll be around.” Continue reading

January 16, 2012

a sad day

Today turned out to be a sad day for me, as it served as the first time that I have ever been asked not to return to a church.

Yesterday, after learning that the pastor was caught in an adulterous affair with one of the members of the congregation, at the end of service I chose to defy one of the elders by standing up and delivering a word from God to the saints regarding restoration (see 2 previous journals). Continue reading

January 16, 2012

judge not

I said I wouldn’t journal about this…but God told me to.

This morning, while in the midst of a phone conversation with a close friend about Christ, the unexpected happened—his mother picked up another phone and boldly commented, “Ian, he’s having a difficult time comprehending what you’re saying to him because he’s not in his right mind…he just finished getting high.” Continue reading

January 15, 2012


After uploading my journal entry this morning, I slid back into my warm sleeping bag, thinking, Do I really have to go to service today? Being convicted by the Holy Spirit that I was, indeed, supposed to go to service, I threw some jeans on and left my trailer. Upon entering the sanctuary, there were people huddled in small groups praying together. Witnessing a man wipe away tears, I thought, The Spirit of God must be really moving in the house today. Little did I know, however, the Holy Spirit was about to move in a way that was unprecedented in that place… Continue reading

January 15, 2012


In April of 2011, while standing in the sanctuary at Word of Life Christian Center in Colorado, a visiting pastor from Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, asked this question, “Whoever wants restoration from God—wants God to restore everything that the devil has stolen from you—I want you to come down to the alter right now.” Hearing his words, being compelled, I made my way to the alter, thinking, Lord, I don’t know what I need to be restored. After the thought, I felt a strong prompting to pray. As the pastor made his way through the crowd full of people, after laying his hand on my head, he walked to the next person, but then suddenly he stopped…

Continue reading

January 11, 2012

choose whom we will serve

The spirit of antichrist is every spirit that does not acknowledge and confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh, and is the Son of God (1 John 4:3). Jesus desires “that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9), even those possessed by the spirit of the antichrist~

While surfing the Internet today, I came across a secular Hip-Hop song (by Kanye West and Jay-Z), that promotes sinful lust, idolatry and Godlessness. In fact, the lyrics imply that Jesus was only a carpenter (click here to read lyrics). Really?! After listening to ten seconds of the song, I could sense the evil spirit of antichrist at work, so I immediately stopped the song. I was filled with righteous anger! How dare they speak against, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! Something has to be done about this! Full of righteous anger, I was compelled to do a search for the lyrics so that I could read them instead of listen to them over a satanic and seductive beat. Continue reading

January 6, 2012

thanks Mike

Having spent the better part of the last week or so locked in my trailer, reviewing and finalizing edits for my book, I am compelled to take a pause and give honor to whom honor is due (Romans 13:7).

With this journal entry, I would like to give honor to a man named Mike Gittleson. Mike was my strength and conditioning coach while I attended the University of Michigan, and has since retired after being U of M’s head strength coach for more than thirty years—he’s also my favorite coach of all-time, and a man I dearly love and respect. Mike didn’t become my favorite coach by giving me the freedom to slack off, and do whatever I wanted to do. Instead, he became my favorite coach because he allowed God to use him to challenged me to work harder than others, ultimately, pushing me far beyond my own limits and expectations. The account below will hopefully give you an idea of how God used Mike in my life: Continue reading

December 29, 2011

just believe

“So, what’s God doing in your life?” I asked the woman seated next to me during my flight to LAX last night.

After exploding into laughter, she replied, “My mother would love to see this right now.” Following our chorus of laughter and having not received a response to my question, I asked gently, “So, are you avoiding my question?” Continue reading

December 21, 2011

His weakness

A few days ago, while having dinner with two close friends, I was greatly troubled by this question: when Jesus was in the Garden of Gesthsemane why did He say,

Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. (Luke 22:42)

In answering the question, one by one, we shared the revelation and understanding God had revealed to each of us. However, though my friends and I had similar understandings, my frustration grew, as I was not willing to accept the fact that my Lord and Savior had a moment of weakness. “The reason I don’t want to accept, or believe that Jesus was weak at any point and time is because that potentially gives me, as well as others, an excuse for having our own ‘moments of weakness’,” I expressed at one point during our conversation. Continue reading

December 15, 2011

my selfish thoughts

During my four years of college, throughout my entire NFL career and up until October of 2010, there was hardly ever a time that I did not have a beautiful woman around to keep me company (the book I am writing will go into much greater detail). However, with God’s help, over the course of the past year, the period of my life in which I felt the need to surround myself with women, has come to an end. Though the period may have ended, the temptation has not… Continue reading

December 11, 2011

failing and missing Christ

The Lord knows that I am uncomfortable being on center stage, and delivering messages that I know people will have a difficult time swallowing. So last week when He said, “Ian, you’re just like a journalist. All you are assigned to do is go wherever I tell you to go…watch me do what I do…and then go back and write about it,” I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. I was extremely relieved to realize that none of what God is doing with me, or through me, has anything at all to do with me. That said, the following was today’s assignment… Continue reading

December 6, 2011

compelling love

Just before heading into a restaurant for lunch this afternoon, I had an unexpected conversation with my mother. “Ian be careful out there,” she said at one point during the conversation.

“Okaaay. What made you say that?” I questioned, as my mother rarely feels the need to tell me to be careful.

“Well,” she hesitated, “I had this crazy dream about your funeral last night. It was strange. I was glad to know it was all a dream when I woke up.” Continue reading

November 30, 2011

nails and wood

Today was a day of reflection…or so I thought. After grabbing lunch, I headed to a small nearby park to eat. Then, following lunch I strummed my guitar for a bit, while enjoying the Autumn colors…I never knew California trees were so beautiful. Once I finished playing “little brown”, for a purpose that would not be revealed until later, I felt compelled to snap a photo of the railroad tracks below…

Continue reading

November 29, 2011

found faithful

While listening to the pastor’s sermon about love on the Sunday before last, I thought, I wonder if I could arrange a wedding ceremony with Jesus? So…excited about my idea, following praise service I shared my thought with a few individuals. “Wow, that’s actually a good idea,” one person expressed, while sitting at a table in the fellowship hall. However, before the day came to an end the Holy Spirit revealed to me why my idea was both, not in line with God’s timing, and extremely selfish… Continue reading

November 20, 2011


During a phone conversation with a dear sister in Christ this evening, I received an interesting revelation from the Holy Spirit. As we discussed the importance of members of the body of Christ responding to the commission of Christ:

“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” (Matthew 28:18-20) Continue reading

November 18, 2011

i’m not in search of land

The other day I realized how blessed I truly am to be on such a journey. You see, when Abraham and Moses began their respective journeys they both, holding on to God’s promise of leading them to a new land, walked in hopes of entering the land which God promised them. So how does their journey differ from mine? Well, I’m not in search of land…  Continue reading

November 16, 2011


Today Jason was sent back to jail…I thank God for His perfect will being done (please read the three previous journal entries to learn more about my encounter with Jason). You see, before I ever knew Jason I don’t know where he was headed, and more importantly, if he knew who Jesus Christ was. But after spending the past few days sharing Christ with him, and being reminded of King David’s beautiful expression to the Lord, “Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou [art] there: if I make my bed in hell, behold thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me” (Psalms 139:7-10), I have peace in knowing that the Lord is with him in his jail cell. Continue reading

November 16, 2011


During Bible study last night, the Holy Ghost prompted the Deacon who was facilitating the study to ask this question, “If you knew that Christ was returning in the morning, what would you change, or do differently?” As I awaited for my opportunity to share my heart’s response, I listened to others share, “I would ask the Lord to take anything that is not pleasing to Him out of me, so that I may be found perfect in His sight,” said one, “I would forgive those who I am holding things against,” responded another. “Well, I wouldn’t go to sleep…,” I expressed, as the Deacon pointed to me, “I mean…I would go out and spend the entire night telling as many people as I could about Him.” Continue reading

November 15, 2011

i will rejoice

After starting my day this morning, one of the first things on my heart was to get an update from Jason. So I called him up, and after hearing that he had not spoken to his parole officer, I urged him to contact her asap. Then, a few hours later he called me back and asked, “Hey Ian, she told me to put my truck away and get down there asap. Do you think you can give me a ride down there?”

“Well, you kinda caught me in the middle of something…,” I responded, as I was in the grocery store at the time, “But let me call you right back.”

“Man, this is really important,” he replied.

“Okay, I’ll call you back in five minutes,” I responded. Continue reading

November 14, 2011

God’s timing

On my way back to the RV park today, I felt so strongly about going to a popular fast food chain, that I made a U-turn in the middle of the road. I’m gonna go inside and order my food because I think the Lord has sent me here to speak to someone, I thought, while pulling into the parking lot. So, upon entering the restaurant, with my heart set on finding the person that the Lord wanted me to encounter, as I walked past people seated at tables, I made my way to the counter and placed my order. “Is this for here?” the cashier asked. “Yes,” I responded. Continue reading

November 14, 2011

turning hearts and minds

Following praise service yesterday, upon walking outside of the sanctuary I noticed four young men sitting and talking together, and being excited to share Jesus, I walked over, dapped them up and introduced myself. Initially they ignored me and continued talking about basketball, and then I asked, “Do you guys know who Jesus Christ is?” and one of them paused briefly and responded, “Ya, I know Him,” as he continued conversing with his friends. So, being determined to turn their hearts and minds toward Christ, I asked them if they knew anything about football and then shared with them a little bit of my testimony… Continue reading

November 9, 2011

following Christ

In the years, months and days leading up to my present journey, while trying to calculate the cost of becoming a follower of Jesus Christ, no matter which way I figured the equation, the cost always added up to me giving my entire life to Christ. Well, maybe the Lord will make an exception, and allow me to give Him a portion of my life?—Not a chance. As I learned, that in order to become a follower of Christ, I would have to give up my entire life. What does following Christ entail? Jesus said the following to His disciples: Continue reading

November 7, 2011


A few Sundays ago, a young girl, no older than seven years of age, asked if she could give the prayer to open the afternoon service. So, standing before the entire congregation she began to pray and give thanks unto the Lord for the saints, the ministers and her family…such a beautiful site to witness. Then suddenly, as she prayed, and many of the saints echoed her petitions to the Lord, she paused, and after becoming overwhelmed with emotion, she began to weep. Continue reading

November 1, 2011

Ezekiel 17:24

“And all the trees of the field shall know that I the LORD have brought down the high tree, have exalted the low tree, have dried up the green tree, and have made the dry tree to flourish: I the LORD have spoken and have done it.” (Ezekiel 17:24)
(My view from the stage today)

October 31, 2011

the Holy Ghost at work

Upon my arrival to the park today, I was greeted by Mike, who informed me that he turned sixty-four years old today. “Happy Birthday!” I shouted, while giving his giant 6’6″ frame a huge bear hug. He then, informed me that there would be a woman arriving shortly with food, and invited me to bless the food with them upon her arrival. Following the prayer, I set up my equipment, and as they finished up their lunch I began to sing praises to the Lord, and share my testimony. Continue reading

October 30, 2011

“i do” and temperance

After a powerful, spirit-filled, praise service today, a large majority of the saints dined together in the fellowship hall at Glory Bound. As I stood outside of the entrance, a young lady, who I had never met before, walked up to me and after introducing herself commented, “When I looked over at you in service today I saw a ring on your finger.” Then, while looking down at my ring finger, I responded with a smile, “No, I’m not married.”

“No,” she replied, “I saw it in the spirit. You are supposed to be married to Jesus.” Continue reading

October 29, 2011

the right place, time and shirt

Just after uploading my previous journal entry less than an hour ago, and heading out to the grocery store on this beautiful Saturday night in California, I contemplated, Should I wear my MICHIGAN hoody…or my brand new “GOD CAN” hoody? Then, feeling compelled to wear my “GOD CAN” hoody for the first time, I slid it on, locked up my rig and drove ten minutes to the store. I’m not real all that fond of grocery shopping, so I picked up the few items I needed, survived the busy check-out line, and headed back out to my truck… And then, a woman walking past me with her family commented, “Sir, he really likes your shirt.” Upon hearing her words, I walked over to the man she was with and after introducing myself he said, “I just really think its a cool shirt.” Continue reading

October 29, 2011

servants to each other

Having been alerted yesterday, that a funeral was scheduled for this morning, I made my way back to the park just before noon, thinking that the funeral would be over. But upon my arrival, I was shocked to find the parking lot filled to capacity. Then, as I backed into a parking space I saw Mike, one of the men I met during my visit to the park yesterday, and just before guiding me into my space, he greeted me with a huge smile! Once out of my vehicle, I acknowledged Bernard and a few of the other people I fellowshipped with yesterday, and headed over to the theater. Continue reading

October 28, 2011

my testimony

So, for the past two weeks I’ve been driving around with enough audio equipment in the back of my pick-up, that would enable my voice to be heard over  the beat of L.A.’s rush hour traffic… The seeds that I planted today, would have never been in my possession had I lost my faith. A few weeks ago, I was led by the Holy Ghost to a small mom and pop music store. After spending two days straight sifting through keyboards, amplifiers and other live sound equipment, I ended up driving away with tons of audio equipment, but no place to set up and use it. So, anxious for what the Lord had in store, I began thinking of places I could find electricity to power my equipment—Maybe I’ll ask for permission to use an outlet at a local shop or grocery store, I thought. I even spent one afternoon driving around the city looking for places to plug-in and play. Continue reading

October 26, 2011

my greatest debt

I thought professional football would be the ultimate career—money, a luxurious lifestyle, and access to pretty much whatever pleasure I desired—I lived quite the life. But…despite grossing over eighteen million dollars in my eight-year NFL career, I retired in July of 2008 nearly three million dollars in debt. Yep…before I knew it, the small puddle of debt that I splashed in and out of throughout my first few years in the league, had become a sea of debt by the time of my retirement. Continue reading

October 25, 2011

partakers of Christ

I am extremely valuable and useful…yet, people wipe their feet upon me as they stand at the entryway to my successor. My successor has been made to look more appealing than me, thus causing many people to overlook me… And so, because I have become merely a vehicle that individuals use in their pursuit of my successor, I now greet each person who climbs into my vessel with the same humble, yet earnest, greeting, “Hello. Do not delay.” However, my greeting is usually answered with a sigh, rolling of eyes, or simply a blank stare. Continue reading

October 21, 2011

worth saving

Oh, let us count the ways society uses to calculate a person’s worth or value: career/profession, education, annual income, race, age, sex, number of “friends”, or number of “followers”, and the list just goes on and on and on. And, if none of the above criteria produce an accurate value, each of us have something called a credit score which, “undoubtedly”, tells the world everything they need to know about us. Now you know, the devil would surely like me to believe that my value can be that easily calculated, however, while driving back from the city today, something I witnessed reminded me that my value to Jesus Christ is impossible to calculate. Continue reading

October 20, 2011


Now, people who know me well, know that I can’t stand doing laundry! However, with one hundred fifty square feet, there’s no room for procrastinating because I have know place to hide my dirty clothes…smh (shaking my head). All jokes aside, being in the midst of so many people with needs, as winter nears and the night temperatures continue to drop lower and lower, after coming to the realization that the little that I have is still actually more than I need, the other day I gave away some clothes and boots that are sure to help someone stay warm this winter. May we each remain mindful of those in need. Continue reading

October 16, 2011

onions and jealousy

I woke up this morning with a number of things on my heart to share…I’ll begin with “the onion”. As I continued resting in bed the Holy Ghost brought this question to mind, Why do onions make us cry? I found the answer in an article: a volatile sulfur compound wafts up toward our eyes, and when this gas mixes with the water in our eyes it forms sulfuric acid. Then, the sulfuric acid burns…stimulating our eyes to release more tears to wash irritant away (Click here to read the article about onions).

Next, I asked the Holy Spirit, So, what exactly are you revealing to me through the onion? I think you know where this is going… Continue reading

October 11, 2011

the long way

My day began by encountering three women I met last week while riding the bus. Not sure what that means, but it was good to see each of them. Shortly after my conversation ended with them, they all boarded a bus, however, I decided to take another bus due to a prompting in my spirit. So, instead of taking the fast bus to my destination, I took the slow one (it’s slow because it makes about twice as many stops as the other bus). During the bus ride I thought of something I  once heard a man say, “I’ll take the long way”. Continue reading

October 10, 2011


For anyone who is under some false impression that I am no longer tempted, please allow me to be transparent with you (Please be advised that the content of this journal entry may not be suitable for pre-teenagers). I am not ashamed to admit that today, even in my zealous pursuit of righteousness (to be in right standing with God), I still fall into temptation. Each day I awake, I am tempted by the evil, and identical twin spirit of lust that Edward wrestles against (read September 27 journal entry). I say twin spirit because whether the spirit is heterosexual, or homosexual, they both come from the same evil father, and both of their objectives are the same: to lead us into sexual immorality and, ultimately, to our death. So, what is sexual immorality? Sexually immoral behavior is any sexual activity that one engages in before, or outside of the sanctity of marriage. And for clarification: the sanctity of marriage was established by God to cultivate the union of a man and a woman. Continue reading

October 7, 2011

the pride of life

My visit to the LA today taught me an extremely valuable lesson about this thing called pride. Upon arriving to Union Station, I took my usual path to the bus stop, and was greeted by a young women (probably in her early twenties). She asked me for a few dollars, but not having any cash on me, I responded, “No. I’m sorry.” Then, while taking a seat near her on a cement bench, I said,

“But I can pray for you.”

“Okay,” she replied.

“We can pray right now if you want?” I responded.

“No thanks,” she replied.

After her response, she proceeded to ask others for a few dollars, and when she heard “No,” from three more individuals, she said, out of what appeared to be pride, as well as disgust for her current circumstances,

“I can’t believe I’m out here asking people for a dollar.”  Continue reading

October 5, 2011

no expectations

A few days ago, this thought came to mind, I have to make sure that I am not going out into the streets for the sole purpose of having encounters with people, simply to journal about. No…I have to remain mindful that my journaling is simply a vehicle in which the miraculous move of God, through and in my life, is being shared with others. After this thought, despite being confident that my heart was in the right place, and set on doing exactly what the Lord sent me here to do, I was compelled to be still. So, for the past few days I have not visited the Metrolink train station, and I have had no encounters with strangers to write about. Instead, I have simply spent time waiting…patiently waiting for the Holy Ghost to minister to me…and He did. What I have learned in this period of waiting is, I must rid myself of all expectations. Continue reading

October 3, 2011

the Measure

A few months ago, while examining my own response to the commission of Christ: my willingness to stop fighting in the courts for the custody of my daughter, walk away from the NFL and sell my home…all for the cause of Christ, I found myself asking God this question: Why aren’t more people willing to forsake all? Why are there so few that are willing to walk away from homes, family, jobs, etc., for the cause of Christ? Then, just as quickly as I asked the question, the Holy Ghost sharply responded, Continue reading

September 29, 2011

loving and accepting all

This morning I boarded the train and after finding a seat, I began a friendly conversation with Ms. Lopez, a woman, in her sixties, that is soon to be married and nearing retirement. As we talked about music, God and life, I was led to gift her a CD just before she exited the train. Then, as a man sat in her empty seat, I smiled and acknowledged him. The train made one stop after another, and with the train finally approaching LA’s Union Station, a man dressed as a woman walked by me in his preparation to exit. While waiting to exit, in an effort to ensure that my encounter with the man I had a few days ago did not repeat, I, shamefully, avoided eye contact with him. If my response to Ed exhibited the love of Christ, my reaction to this gentleman certainly did not! Then, before I knew it the Holy Ghost rebuked me for my unwillingness to love and be receptive to ALL of God’s children. Continue reading

September 27, 2011

unexpected encounters

This morning I arrived at the Metro Station, and with an hour wait for the next train, I decided to play my guitar. While playing I noticed a caution sign, and had some fun by making up a song…not all trains stop at the station…you need to exercise some caution…and stay behind the yellow line…and look at the see of cars. I am proof that people who believe “Jesus is Lord” do have fun! Click here to listen. Then, just before boarding the train, I walked over to a young lady who sat quietly and listened to my guitar for an hour and handed her a CD. And after receiving her reply, a blank stare…I slowly turned and walked away. Continue reading

September 26, 2011

a day in los angeles, ca

Today I celebrated my mother’s birthday, as well as my first day in LA…what can I say, God’s timing is always perfect! I woke up with a relaxed demeanor. Unlike the butterflies I used to get before big games, I felt a calm…it was almost as if I had done this before. This, referring to launching out into a city by faith alone, to plant and water seeds of the gospel of Christ…With there being no hand-book, or how-to-book on how to spread the gospel of Christ…today I learned one of who knows how many methods that God uses to teach people how to share the gospel: experience. Continue reading

September 25, 2011

my first sunday

This morning, after taking my first shower with the water pressure working properly, I was excited to find a house of God to attend as I prepared to share the gospel of Christ the next day. So as I traveled down the highway, with no clue of where to go, I approached one of the most popular city street names in a number of America’s larger cities, “Martin Luther King Boulevard”. Now, ordinarily, I would avoid MLK Street at all cost due to it’s negative stigma, however, today the Holy Ghost prompted me to turn onto MLK. Then, shortly after MLK I crossed one of, what I have learned to be, LA’s most notorious streets, Long Beach Boulevard. So, you guessed it, the Holy Ghost led me to make a U-turn and drive down Long Beach.

While observing the culture transition from Hispanic to African American, a man decked out in a gold suit with white shoes at a bus stop grabbed my attention. So I made another U-turn, parked my car at the bus stop, walked up to the man and tapped him on his shoulder and asked, “Excuse me, but are you going to worship somewhere nearby?” Continue reading